How to choose your Best Man
Back in the good old days when a bridegroom launched a raiding party to steal his chosen one, the best man rode along and helped with the abduction and fought off any rival suitors or angry male relative.
Thankfully the Best Man of today doesn’t have to aid and abet his mate in the crimes of kidnapping and grievous bodily harm but they do still have to defend their friend and be there for him during this rather stressful and emotional time of his life.
choosing your best man
Never forget that being the Best Man is a huge task and offering the honour to someone who is unable to live up to their responsibilities may be courting a disaster. Think carefully about the decision and don’t feel obliged to go ahead with the wrong choice to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. You may be better off to explain tactfully why another choice has been made and get the disappointment over early on in the piece.
By the same token, the man (or woman!) invited to take on the role of Best Man should think carefully before accepting the position. If they don’t feel that they can cope with all the stress, they should decline gracefully.
If you are the one acting as best man at a wedding, good luck and we hope this little check list may help things run smoothly for you.
What are the Best Man’s responsibilities?
Before the wedding day
Up to and including the day itself your primary responsibility is to make sure that the groom is on schedule in getting prepared for the wedding.
Traditionally some of the things you may be asked to do are:
- Confirm the arrangements concerning the place of marriage, date, time, number of guests etc.
- Pay the clergyman/celebrant/registrar on behalf of the groom.
- Organise the Bucks Night.
- Arrange for the transport and parking for the bride and groom at both the Wedding and the Reception Venue.
- Check the buttonholes have been ordered for the groom and other groomsmen.
- Attend the wedding rehearsal.
- Collect the hire clothes for himself, the groomsmen and the ushers the day before the wedding.
- Make sure that the Groomsmen have everything they need!
On the day – before the Ceremony
The Best Man should really come to the fore now dealing with all your responsibilities and calming the bridegroom down who’s probably going to be a mess of nerves. It would be a really good move to make sure that you are fully dressed well before the bridegroom is so that you have time to help him.
- Travel to the ceremony with the Groom.
- Make sure the Grooms, Groomsmen’s and Usher’s bottonholes are on correctly which is on the left lapel, stem pointing down
- The Best Man is responsible for the ring bearer if there is one. Keep him calm and make sure that he understands exactly what it is he has to do.
On the day – during the Ceremony
Ok so you’re at the church, here’s what you have to do now
- Get the groom into position in the church.
- Organise the ushers.
- Pass the wedding ring to the service giver.
- Sign the register.
- Direct and time the photographer (?).
- Pay any outstanding marriage fee’s.
It’s also a good idea to have a few dollars in your pocket just in case there end up being some unexpected expenses that you don’t want to bother the groom with.
On the day – at the Reception
You’re not just here for the beer, you know…there are lots of things you have to keep your eye on to make sure the reception runs smoothly.
- The duties could include any or all of the following … Act as toast master during the reception unless a specific Master of Ceremonies has been appointed.
- Read out any telegrams, emails etc,
- Make the dreaded speech.
- Reply to “The Bridesmaids” toast.
- Dance with the Maid or Matron of Honour, all the Bridesmaids, the two Mothers and any single female guests.
- Organise the Bride and Grooms departure from the reception by organising a taxi or even driving them yourself.
- Make sure that the wedding presents are taken to a pre-arranged destination.
- Bring the celebrations to a close.
- * The day or week after the wedding Return any hired equipment or clothing
See! Being the Best Man really is a big ask.
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